C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
