I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
