if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The uberlube is also flammable
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
