I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
