My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
