I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
