O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
