The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
