it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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