i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
