Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Randomize
