i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
