i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Randomize
