that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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