her vagine was all disorganized.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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