Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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