I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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