So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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