I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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