She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
