I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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