You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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