can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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