What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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