just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
