is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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