return my video game
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
