problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
do herpes really smell.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
