You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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