Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
