Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I understand Curling. That high.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
