we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
