haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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