Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
