It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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