Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she told me i tasted like america
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
