WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
