I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just google imaged poop.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
