What did we do last night that was yellow?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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