the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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