but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
