Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
