you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
