Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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