I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
