are you still at the devil's house?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
