Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
