I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
