the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
that may or may not have been my penis.
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