im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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